When you’re in a same-sex relationship: sitting on face
Depending on which way your uterus is tilted, there may be different sex positions that work better for you. “Woman on top is a great position because it gives you complete control around the depth and speed of penetration,” McKimmie says. Oral sex is another great way to achieve orgasm with a tilted uterus, without penetration, she adds. Experts also recommend using the Ohnut donut-shaped rings. “That allows the receiver to find comfort in any position as it limits the depth of penetration, whether with a penis or a dildo if the partner is strapping on,” sex and relationship coach Ashley Manta tells Woman’s Day.
Girl on top is also an excellent position if you sometimes feel a little insecure between the sheets but want to put that problem to bed. “It can be confidence-building because it physically helps women to be in control,” Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction, tells Woman’s Day. Just make sure you do it in a way that makes you feel best. “Woman on top can be done kneeling, squatting, facing forward, or facing backward,” she adds. “Show off whatever you or your partner loves most about your body.”
There are plenty of positions that work in same-sex relationships that also get their fair share of action in heterosexual relationships. Sitting on your partner’s face is great for all kinds of stimulation, primarily oral, but it makes way for fingering or using sex toys in your vagina or anus.
“She’ll have one or both hands free to hold your hips or caress your butt,” sex therapist Vanessa Marin tells Woman’s Day. “You can control the pressure by pulling your body away or pressing down.” Not to mention, orgasms in this position can feel very intense, Marin adds. “It will bring a whole new meaning to ‘weak in the knees.'”
Scissoring is another classic position same-sex couples can find lots of pleasure in. “You lie facing each other with legs intertwined,” McKimmie says. “This allows you [put] pressure on both your clitorises.” She also recommends you and your partner try doggy style with your fingers or a strap-on. “It really allows for a different angle of penetration and makes the clitoris available to direct stimulation,” she adds.
When you want to build intimacy: seated lotus.
Whether you and your partner are still new and trying to build intimacy, or you’ve been together for a while and are looking to rekindle the flame that may have dwindled over time, the seated lotus is a great place to start.
“The penetrating partner sits with their crossed legs in front, the other person sits on top legs wrapped like a koala bear,” Gigi Engle, SKYN Condoms Sex & Intimacy Expert, tells Woman’s Day. “Physically speaking, this position is optimal for clitoral stimulation.” The seated lotus is also excellent for nuzzling, eye-contact, and lots of kissing, she adds.
Dr. Rachel Needle, licensed psychologist in West Palm Beach and the co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, echoes Engle’s sentiment. “This position encourages bonding and can build intimacy,” Dr. Needle tells Woman’s Day. “You are face to face, your bodies are touching fully, you can gaze into each other’s eyes, breathe, or whisper into each other’s ears, are so close you can kiss each other’s lips or neck.” If you and your partner want to increase the intensity of the sex position, she suggests that the person on top move more slowly and sensually at times.
When you’re shy: doggy style.
Unlike girl on top, if you’re on the shier side of things when it comes to sex, doggy style is an ideal position for you. “You can simply reach down and touch yourself,” Marin says. “Your partner can’t see what you’re doing with your hand, so this is a great option for women who are on the shy side” and don’t necessarily feel comfortable telling their partner what they want in bed yet (or ever). It also gives your partner an easy way to reach down and stroke you, she adds.